Lists…

I have a very good sense of my strengths and weaknesses. Mostly because I have very few strengths and lots of weaknesses (basically everything else). My wife took the day off work yesterday to come help me interview people for a job vacancy at my company.

I am quite bad at interviews.

Jo: ‘So how to you feel about sushi?’

Potential job applicant: ‘Are you kidding? I love sushi!’

Jo: ‘You’re hired!’¬† *starts dancing*

Whereas my wife is quite scary (I’ve realised). She takes notes and asks these really tough (work related) questions. I’m impressed I remembered to wear shoes.

I try and chime in every now and then to make it seem like I have something valuable to add. But really, I know this is what George W. Bush felt like when he was reading that children’s book and the secret service agent came and whispered in his ear… and he’s sitting there wondering what he should do now… but also thinking about a ham sandwich.

Afterwards we sit at my desk. I color in with my crayons and she tries to help me with some of my nightmarish accounting issues I’ve recently inherited.

She makes me a list of things I need to do. She’s learned by now that if she doesn’t write things down for me… the mission is over before it begins. Thats not a guarantee that I won’t loose the list… or…

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… completely misinterpret whats written on the list. But theres a chance.

Yeah, I have no idea why she married me either.

Outsourced!

And you dare mock Capitalism…

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This frees up a lot of my time. Its been great! I haven’t decided whether I want to upgrade to the full self-loathing package yet. Apparently for an extra $1 he’ll run himself into a brick wall.

On the one hand I feel a little bad for him. On the other, he’s earning money which he can use to support his venerable parents and twelve siblings. I do however feel morally obligated to try and balance his capacity to sustain brain damage at my behest with his own hard currency requirements. (I don’t think he’s educated enough to understand what he’s doing is bad for him)

In any event. I totally recommend this new feature. Also the app is great. Very user friendly.

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