I can see my wife doing this to me…
I can see my wife doing this to me…
A Kuwaiti fishmonger stuck googly eyes on his fish to make them seem fresher than they really were…
LMAO. I would love to know the thought process here.
Ooooh… only $2.
Vaguely I wonder what comes with the deluxe hug? Perhaps more square inch mammary gland surface area contact? I might be willing to pay for that. I quite like boobs pushed up against me.
Comparatively I imagine the free hug is like the hug you’re forced to give that creepy relative… while internally reciting the mantra ‘Don’t kiss me on the mouth, don’t kiss me on the mouth’ (while at the same time trying to breathe… through your mouth)
The Deluxe Hug must be… like that all encompassing, grappling, bear hug that takes your to edge of asphyxiation/orgasm? Or maybe there is some form of sanitation that takes place between events. Be sure the hugger is hepatitis free, here’s his certificate. Or maybe they synergize their hug with some kind of added extra. ‘You smell great’.
‘Really? Thanks!’ *feels good for the rest of the day*
I want one.
You think the advertised price includes GST?
This is a statue in South Korea.
Damn… Jesus was ripped!
I actually chuckled out loud. (Usually I only LOL on the inside)
I don’t know why I found this funny. But I did.
At some point my iPhone decided ‘cool’ should actually be ‘cook’ and now oscillates between hardcore obstinacy and whimsically auto-correcting this word. Which is problematic because ‘cool’ it is my most used affirmation. Which is then often followed by duck. Sometimes all in Caps. Apparently my most used profanity.
Wife: Can you stop and get milk?
Wife: I’m assuming this means you’re on it?
Of course some people have surpassed mere mortals and… sub-mortals (i.e. me) and turned this form of communication into something more profound.
Case in point.
I want to be like Lily’s dad. Only… I don’t think I have the energy or thesaurus like ability (on the fly) to pull this off.
Also I’m hungry now. ‘Joey feels the need to sate the ravenous emptiness in his abdomen with slivers of sauteed hind of swine’.
When actually I mean…
I’m not sure how I feel about Nike, one way or another. But I’m very interested in this whole thing from a marketing and consumer psychology standpoint. Oh and memes brimming with satire and hilarity. I thought this one was the best I’ve seen so far.
Appeals to my inner geek.
It’s not exactly Kipling… but this blog is likely a little low brow for..
Oh, East is East, and West is West, and never the twain shall meet,
Till Earth and Sky stand presently at God’s great Judgment seat;
But there is neither East nor West, Border, nor Breed, nor Birth,
When two strong men stand face to face, though they come from the ends of the earth!
Fuck ’em up son. Wu for life.
Wait a second did you just splice ‘Ol Dirty Bastard into Rudyard Kipling ?
I did. And I am not ashamed. Okay, maybe a little ashamed.
I’m nitpicking, but to me this looks more like a tortoise than a turtle…. But I feel the concept is sound and that acting out your passive aggressive tendencies in this manner is probably quite rewarding. Certainly better than kicking off their door mirror.
…are often a total time sink…
But I’d like to think I’d also make an exception in this case…
The difference between me and my wife…
My wife looked at this picture and said, ‘Is he freaking out because there isn’t any toilet paper?’
I give her that quizzical head tilt look… But she seems genuinely mystified.
I want my innocence back!!
I feel gingers are over-represented in derisive humor. Yet no one marches for the right of these citrus follicled sapiens not to be ridiculed. Rise up my scarlet maned brethren… rise up and fight! Preferably at dusk or slathered in sunscreen.
When we are younger it’s okay to sleep in a car…
But when you’re older sleeping in your car is seriously frowned upon.
I think we’re sending our kids mixed messages…
I really appreciate this guys entrepreneurial spirit…
I’m assuming since you are posting this they didn’t find your stash of methamphetamines? Or your missing girlfriend?
Anyways, keep up the good work.
I have a very good sense of my strengths and weaknesses. Mostly because I have very few strengths and lots of weaknesses (basically everything else). My wife took the day off work yesterday to come help me interview people for a job vacancy at my company.
I am quite bad at interviews.
Jo: ‘So how to you feel about sushi?’
Potential job applicant: ‘Are you kidding? I love sushi!’
Jo: ‘You’re hired!’ *starts dancing*
Whereas my wife is quite scary (I’ve realised). She takes notes and asks these really tough (work related) questions. I’m impressed I remembered to wear shoes.
I try and chime in every now and then to make it seem like I have something valuable to add. But really, I know this is what George W. Bush felt like when he was reading that children’s book and the secret service agent came and whispered in his ear… and he’s sitting there wondering what he should do now… but also thinking about a ham sandwich.
Afterwards we sit at my desk. I color in with my crayons and she tries to help me with some of my nightmarish accounting issues I’ve recently inherited.
She makes me a list of things I need to do. She’s learned by now that if she doesn’t write things down for me… the mission is over before it begins. Thats not a guarantee that I won’t loose the list… or…
… completely misinterpret whats written on the list. But theres a chance.
Yeah, I have no idea why she married me either.
A good friend of mine sent me this yesterday. Said it reminded her of me. Ha ha.
Ha ha ha. This is me on the subway.
This is brilliant… And will totally give you the ‘feline experience’ you think you’ve been missing out on.
Seriously… who puts English muffin on a list of TOAST!
I am so triggered right now! Gah!!