Fail

If you’ve just had the Monday from hell… and you feel your day couldn’t get any worse… spare a thought for Nedeljiko Čabrinović  (Center) one of the ‘assassins’ of Archduke Ferdinand.

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Čabrinović started off his debacle of a day by throwing a hand grenade at the open topped vehicle carrying the Archduke, but bungled it, bouncing the grenade off the car door. The grenade also had a ten second fuse which meant it only exploded under the forth car in the convoy.

To avoid capture, Čabrinović quickly swallowed a cyanide capsule. Which turned out to be defective and instead of killing him, just made him vomit. Thinking fast he threw himself into the River Miljacka… only to realize that the river was only 4 inches deep.

Having failed to kill himself he was swarmed and taken into custody. ‘I am a Serb hero’ he proclaimed as he was taken away. He died two years later of tuberculous at the midpoint of the Great war he helped create.

Pompeii v2.0

ie. the town in ancient Rome that was covered in ash when Mount Vesuvius erupted… (looks it up) in 79AD. My initial guess was only about 100 years off. What did we do before Google? Make stuff up? *Jo laughs sardonically*

My enduring memory of visiting Pompeii is that of a giant penis.

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Apparently dick jokes were a thing 2000 years ago. We’ve definitely moved on since then… I want to say we’ve taken our dick jokes online… drawing them out in beach sand, corn fields and on frozen lakes and then following it up with some adroit drone-work… but occasionally you will still find a giant schlong hastily illustrated on some suburban concrete canvas.

If a modern day eruption were to cover us in volcanic ash, preserving us for posterity… how would we look like to a future generation two thousand years from now?

Likely I would be caught in my natural state, occupying some weird, unergonomic position that is not quite supine cradling my Macbook and trying to take one last sip of coffee. Hopefully with my pants on. Assuming the latter, quite a dignified way to be preserved I feel.

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Not all of us will be that lucky though. I can only imagine our future progenies mouthing the words, ‘What… the actual… fuck is going on here… is that girl… wearing Crocs?’

To be fair I might be being a bit presumptuous when it comes to assuming a gender here…

What we learn from History

They say that history is the greatest of all teachers, and that tales of past deeds define who we are in the present, and what we shall be in the future. It is said that such tales shall with each telling illuminate us all with the light of truth. – narrator, Icewind Dale

I liked this line so much I wrote it on the first page of my very first journal. Back when I was a pen and paper purist. These days I am likely more cynical and tend to align myself with the philosophy of Otto von Bismarck and his penchant for spiky helmets, epic level moustaches and Realpolitik…

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What we learn from History is that no one learns from History – Otto Von Bismarck. 

Truer today, than its ever been before 😉