Muppets et al.

A healthy man wants 1000 things. A sick man only wants one thing – Chinese saying 

I type it out verbatim. Even though I hate the phrase ‘Chinese saying’. I am briefly tempted to change it to ‘author unknown’, but decide, after some internal deliberation*…

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*pictorial representation of what this might look like

to leave it as it is…. even if does feel vaguely fortune cookie-ish. I feel since it’s gender specific the answer is probably ‘Blowjob’. I think we are meant to assume its health. But I think we can all agree that this is unlikely when these two things are assayed against each other on the scale of probability.

I’m not the most functional grown up at the best of times. A situation made infinitely more dire by injury or sickness (see previous post). Even worse is that during such times I so fit so snugly into that stereotypical (wretched) male mold. Which is then further exacerbated by the self-loathing that comes with the acquiescence of such typecast character. Fortunately I have a very capable wife, without whom I’d be really quite stuffed.

I propped my odious and contemptible form up with caffeine this morning. A triple espresso meant to form some sort of bulwark against an overdose of codeine. Like Thanos I appreciate balance in all things. (I’m not entirely sure they should make another Avengers movie, I quite liked the way this one ended).

In any event, I only realized when I was almost at work that I had listened to almost an entire Muppets playlist without noticing…

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Which is both worrying (because clearly I’m not copious mentos [sic]) and comforting (insofar as someone took the time to make a Best of the Muppets playlist). Its missing ‘Pachalafaka’. Which is likely my favorite Muppets showtune. Apparently it means transvestite in Turkish.

I’m not sure if that’s true or not. I choose to believe because it makes me grin. I also tend to accept Google as the fifth (albeit apocryphal) gospel.

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