23.04.2018 – Monday

I swallowed a bug.

That is a bit of a misnomer. It’s more like I inhaled a bug. I can feel it crawling around in my alveoli. Well more likely flailing around in the sticky gumbo, like some world war one trench fighter, slowly succumbing to the undertow of muck that coats the inside of my lung. I can feel its death rattle though… and its upsetting me. Die already.

This caps off my crowning achievement for the day. Which was wrestling a half decomposed rat away from the Basset Hound before he could eat it. It came apart while we grappled for ownership of said rodent. I then had to pry his jaws open with my fingers to extract the other half before he gulp-gulp-swallowed.

This is still better than the dead bloated toad he tried eat once. But not worse than the time he rolled in human faeces. That was truly a vomit inducing affair. Just thinking about it gives me the heebie-jeebies.

I feel this is some sort of (greater) metaphor for my life at the moment… like I’ve been (unfairly) singled out to have a torrid time. Embrace the suck. Or something along those lines. On the plus side I am still alive and standing. So there is upside to all this workside calamity… even if it isn’t all immediately apparent to me.

May these two hundred and fifty words provided proof of life and underscore that I have yet to succumb to some spurious malady.