Far Cry 5

I was up at 3am. I’ve been waking up at stupid times and been struggling to go back to sleep. I say stupid times but my alarm goes off at 03:59 anyway. I pulled my iPad off my side table with intention of reading, but then remembered… Today is Far Cry 5 day.


I armed myself with fuzzy slippers (not pictured) and Old Glory socks (as one does) and trundled off to go and kill some white supremacists with a compound bow (that was my first mistake).


No real spoilers.

Turns out they’re not white supremacists. I haven’t really been following any of the hype about Far Cry 5. I wanted to go in virginal, unbiased and untainted. ‘Hey, wait a minute, isn’t that a black guy?’ Turns out I’m conflating white supremacy and christian fundamentalism. Sorry! (My bad) Turns out they might not even be Christian Fundamentalists. I think its implied, but never… Oh, the official line is Doomsday cult. (they’re pretty inclusive) Well there you go. I take it all back.

In any event it was very satisfying shooting a broad-head into the cranium of some guy standing in a forestry watch tower. Turns out, he was NOT a baddie. The game admonished me with a warning and the words ‘DO NOT KILL CIVILIANS’ flashed across my screen. Oops. (Good start there Joey)

In my defense all these hick white folk look the same to me.

Anyways. I haven’t gotten very far yet. I’ve played through the intro and cleared the island. While I quite liked the intro, it does require you suspend your disbelief. Clearly these guys haven’t watched WACO (or even read the Wikipedia entry). Also, apparently EVERYONE in Montana still has an old school answering machine. Which I find quite cute.

Check out my incredibly boring avatar.



I just couldn’t bring myself to pick out a mullet, camouflage cargo pants and a wife beater. And while I realize in FPS you never see yourself… I just can’t. I have standards. Pretty low standards, but standards nonetheless.

Also my aim is shocking. I haven’t played a FPS in a while. You know that trope that says people hone their firearm skills playing violent video games… actually I’m not sure where I’m going with this because my aim in real life is also pretty bad. Except in real life I manage to bounce hot shells off inanimate objects which then lodge themselves in unexpected places (like into the tiny gap between my fat head and my shooting glasses). Problems a gamer doesn’t have.

In all honesty I’m generally not into games like this. In fact this is the first game in the Far Cry series I’ve played. If I’m going to play a ‘shooter’ I prefer something like, Ghost Recon (which I really liked), first person isn’t really my thing. But there’s been a serious dearth of decent titles lately for the PS4. I’m really looking forward to Red Dead. But that’s still ages away… but until then I need something to tide me over. Keeping my fingers crossed.