Non conformance reports

I hate ISO. But being in the engineering industry I am forced to fill out these stupid non-conformance reports. 99.99% of the time the root cause is, ‘shit happens’. And the corrective action is ‘operator was told to be more mindful and attentive and make less mistakes, operator is not a robot (unfortunately).

Corrective action :

Employee was taken outside and beaten to within an inch of his life with a pick-ax handle. I then broke several of his fingers by stomping on them while he begged for his life. He promises (when he gets out of hospital) never to make a mistake ever again. 

… is what I wish I could write. I’m guessing they don’t even read them most of the time.

Unfortunately ISO standards means you have to lie and make up some bullshit reason to justify a lapse in concentration from your employee.

This one was especially amusing to me though.

See attatched. (I didn’t even see that one)

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