Every year this event polarizes more people than religion, gender or politics ever could. Either you’re the sort of person that makes New year’s resolutions. Or you’re the sort of person that maligns the concept and slanders those who take up the challenge.
I try to be dichotomous about New Year’s resolutions, insofar as, I sometimes make some resolutions, but I also try to be incredibly disparaging about others that do the same. That way I can straddle the divide, dexterously dipping my junk into the strait that flows between us. The great unifier.
To coincide with this rather arbitrary date, denoting a passing of 365.25 rotations that our insignificant planet has made around a 4.6 billion year old yellow dwarf, I have decided on the following resolutions.
One. Stop drinking coffee.
I briefly considered this. But then thought that I have genuinely altruistic motives for NOT curtailing my consumption of coffee beans, born of real concern for the GDP of Kenya, which as I understand it, might be severely compromised if I were to slack off. Don’t worry minimum slave guys, I got your back. Also I really like coffee… and I’m not a masochist (besides having children I mean)
Two. Stop with the news.
I’ve tried and failed at this one before. I found it very easy to slip back into compulsively checking my news-feeds. This one has always been problematic for me, because bereft of information overload I am genuinely more cheerful, but eventually I develop this angst that I’m becoming insular and uninformed. There doesn’t seem to be happy balance for me and so I see-saw between extremes. Not sure how this one will go for me.
Three. No more social media.
This one should be pretty easy, since I long ago weaned myself off of Facebook. I am finally off Twitter. I still have an Instagram account that I have been nostalgically clinging to, but I think the time has come (the Walrus said*) for that to go.
*’to talk of many things, of shoes and ships and sealing wax, of cabbages and kings. And why the sea is boiling hot and whether pigs have wings’.
Otherwise a couple of tweaks here and there. Possibly maybe.
The truth is that I am constantly putting ‘new’ resolutions into play, be they New years or any other day of the year… and constantly failing at them. I fail much more than I succeed.
Four. Listen to more jazz.
I’m listening to Sonny Stitt in the background. It’s really good. I should do that more often.