Jinxing myself.

Monday. It doesn’t have a classic rock feel to it. But thats what iTunes feels I should be listening to. Ballroom Blitz by The Sweet. Thats about as cheddar coated as it comes. I’m tolerating it for now. Actually no… no I’m not. Next. Into Bullet for my valentine. Better for post double downgrade blues. And it completely obscures Jacaranda FM playing in the sales office. Which makes me want to self-harm with blunt-nose scissors. So probably a good thing.

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How Joey imagines himself. Only less smart. And way less wealthy. And with less hair. And without drum sticks. So basically nothing like the Michael Burry at all. But I’m totally channelling Christian Bale this morning. Ohmmmmm… motherfucker.

Actually I’ve had a pretty good day so far. Woke up at four twenty five am. Did fifteen minutes of headspace. Followed by calisthenics. Cold shower. Traffic was super mundane and no one tried to murder me. At work at six am exactly. So weirdly… so far so good.

I realise I’m totally jinxing myself. And that a bump in space-time fabric has just caused one of the celestial elephants to stumble, cantilevering our planet dangerously off to one side. It could all go down from here.

Vaguely I wonder if cantilevering is really a word. And more importantly if I’ve used it correctly. My thought process being, since there are four elephants holding up the planet (on the back of giant space turtle), one stumbling means, at that point the planet would be cantilevered? Ie, not supported. Anyways. I apologize if I got it wrong. I am not an architect or an engineer. And I think we can all agree if not a real word, it totally should be.

ALSO. The above assumes you have an understanding of Discworldian physics. How someone could get this far in life WITHOUT an understanding thereof is beyond me… but I imagine there are people out there. Living in a dark Platonian cave playing shadow puppets or whatever people do for fun in allegories of this type.

*I pat myself on the back for combining Terry Pratchett and Philosophy 101*

Oh. I left my MacBook charger at home. It begins…

And one of my IP addresses has JUST (randomly) decided it’s in conflict. Conflict with whom is unclear. Maybe Poland. Speaking historically. Or maybe this is more like a Saarland annexation. It feels like a precursor of greater fuckage to come. Why did I jinx myself?

I’ve realised recently there’s NOT a whole hell of a lot I am actually good at. All though I think I’m getting better at making scrambled eggs in the microwave… they have a not-quite-rubber consistency this morning. So vaguely edible. Which is different.