Food for thought

I’m awake. He said. Not 100% convinced of the factual nature of the statement that he’d just blurted out loud to no one in particular. Still waiting for that first cup of coffee to form a frail bulwark against the circadian rhythm of life. Man the ramparts and fight back my little caffeine warriors. Although to be fair, perhaps I’m expecting too much. It feels like one of those days where I need to run one of those plastic aquarium hoses from the percolator to my abdominal caffeine port (that I’m going to have installed) The first bit of cyborgery that actually makes sense to me. Weirdly cyborgery is not underlined in red. Oh wait… there we go.

So breakfast this morning is surprisingly NOT Fruit Loops. Due to a deficit of the aforementioned sugar/carbohydrate combination at both Woolworths and Pick n Pay. I burn both time and burn fossil fuels in the quest for Fruit Loops. Which has forced me to consider my life, or rather my health. Damn you Toucan Sam!

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So this morning, in a supreme effort not to be hungry by 9am and go snuffling around the office refrigerator and then going to raid next doors refrigerator (because ours is basically ALWAYS empty*) and then giving up and offering to buy everyone food from the Roadhouse, I’ve eaten three extra large free range eggs, scrambled to a rubbery consistency in the microwave and then combined with one diced pepper from my vegetable garden.

*because Jo has already eaten everything

This is actually the first year I’ve grown California Wonders and I’ve had a surprisingly bumper crop. I actually thought, green peppers, yellow peppers and red peppers were all different varieties. Ha ha. Imagine my surprise when they turned from green to yellow to red. Embarrassing. Well, now I know. My next endeavour is to try and grow garlic. The time to sow is near.

Interesting fact. If you buy a clove of garlic from any store in South Africa and stick it in the ground it will rot and die. This is because ALL commercially available garlic is imported from China and is irradiated first in a massive irradiator. Everytime I crush a clove of garlic in my Joseph and Joseph garlic press I feel like I’m adding Chinese lead paint to my dish, with a touch of nuclear. You know who likes gamma rays? The incredible hulk. Joey not so much. This coming from someone who stuffs his face with carcinogenic cereal every day. So maybe this paragraph lacks the sobriety it deserves.

I would also like to keep my own chickens. At some stage. I’m not sure how the German Shepherd would feel about this is, being similar to Hadedas, with whom she has a complex love/hate relationship. The Basset hound I feel would care very little, because he is a very insular motherfucker. Its not his fault. Its basically genetic. Also he is French, so really what chance does he have?

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Although to be fair I love French food. French cars, beer and revolution not so much.

I had this notion that I was going to weld up something today. (A feature of spending my day in the warehouse yesterday) Last night I even thought about being a little bit proactive and packing my welding helmet so I wouldn’t forget it this morning. Alas my mind being the featureless gray expanse it is, I forgot. I think I do have some dodgy welding goggles lying around here somewhere, you know the, Dr Horrible/steam punk kind that will likely permanently burn purple spots into my vision if I use them. Not sure I’m willing to accept that trade off just yet.

Maybe I’ll remember my helmet tomorrow…