Origin Story

6am. I’m sitting in the dark at work trying to decide if this milk tastes funny or not. It’s my first bowl of Fruit loops for the day. The storm last night tripped the big main breaker outside. I don’t have a key. I briefly gave the door an experimental kick. And while I feel it will probably yield eventually to my Tekken 3 front kick assault that might not the best option available to me. So I’m waiting for my warehouse manager to arrive. In the meantime I amuse myself with multi-tasking fruit loops into my mouth and trying to type left-handed.

I got a notification that I’ve posted five times already, which seems quite fervent of me. I read back and corrected some spelling mistakes, added some commas and inserted at least one semi-colon. After some deliberation I deleted the semicolon. It didn’t add as much value as I had originally anticipated it might. In fact now I’m not sure how I feel about semicolons generally.

I also cross off the first podcast for the week. The Fat Wallet show. A breezy thirty five minutes, most of which I listened to in the car on the way here. I should probably mention that this whole blog is Kristia’s fault. You see I wrote her this long profanity ridden tirade on Tuesday last week. By Thursday I hadn’t received a reply. So… as one does I was all like ‘Well Fuck you, I’m starting a blog’.

Okay. I realise that’s not really, generally speaking, the progression most people take in response to an unread email. I’m working through it with my therapist. (I take things very personally) Sorry Beatrix. She gave me this print out of cognitive behavioural things I’m supposed to consider before making a decision. Which I’ve lost… eh misplaced.

It has also been decided (by my staff) that I shouldn’t engage with customers who transgress into sixty days. I now delegate this function. Apparently you can’t tell a customer who hasn’t paid you that, ‘I hope you get sick and die’.

Well you can. But apparently there’s better ways to broach the subject of non-payment. My suggestion of the Tony Soprano approach as an alternative was also broadly down voted.

Friday morning Kristia wrote back. By then it was too late already. Sorry Kristia we can no longer be friends. Okay, maybe we can. Let me think about it.

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I will give The Fat Wallet show some commendation though even if the host is a bit sluggish. It’s really good. I’ve always considered myself quite well versed in matters of money. But Simon Browns encyclopedia-like knowledge on personal finance is insanely (and potentially alarmingly) immense, on a scale that borders autism. They also present the information really well. (which I realise invalidates my previous charge of autism, but that might be Kristia’s influence) Sufficed to say I’m always learning or relearning something so I consider this time well spent. I totally recommend it.

Anyways, enough of this gushing. Electricity is back on. Time to get after it.

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